Showing posts with label humoresque. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humoresque. Show all posts

12.01.2023

🎄 Twelve Weeks of Lessons (Parody)

December 01, 2023 0 Comments

On the first week of lessons, my teacher taught to me 
to improvise on the black keys

On the second week of lessons, my teacher taught to me 
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys

On the third week of lessons, my teacher taught to me
always count
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys

On the fourth week of lessons, my teacher taught to me 
dynamic contrast
always count 
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys

On the fifth week of lessons, my teacher taught to me the
Circle of Fifths! 
dynamic contrast
always count
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys

On the sixth week of lessons, my teacher taught to me 
set the metronome
Circle of Fifths! 
dynamic contrast
always count
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys

On the seventh week of lessons, my teacher taught to me 
seven sharps and flats
set the metronome
Circle of Fifths! 
dynamic contrast
always count
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys

On the eighth week of lessons, my teacher taught to me
eight intervals
seven sharps and flats
set the metronome
Circle of Fifths! 
dynamic contrast
always count
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys

On the ninth week of lessons, my teacher taught to me
nine lines and spaces
eight intervals
seven sharps and flats
set the metronome
Circle of Fifths! 
dynamic contrast
always count
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys

On the tenth week of lessons, my teacher taught to me
to change the pedal
nine lines and spaces
eight intervals
seven sharps and flats
set the metronome
Circle of Fifths! 
dynamic contrast
always count
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys

On the eleventh week of lessons, my teacher taught to me 
eleven Czerny etudes
to change the pedal
nine lines and spaces
eight intervals
seven sharps and flats
set the metronome
Circle of Fifths! 
dynamic contrast
always count
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys.

On the twelfth week of lessons, my teacher taught to me 
twelve tone series
eleven Czerny etudes
to change the pedal
nine lines and spaces
eight intervals
seven sharps and flats
set the metronome
Circle of Fifths! 
dynamic contrast
always count
to sit up straight 
and to improvise on the black keys!!!!

Merry Christmas!


What are some of your ideas for Christmas song parodies? 

-Jenny
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10.18.2023

🍳 The Griddle (parody of The Middle)

October 18, 2023 0 Comments

Teaching my students their favorite songs is important to me. 


Sometimes the lyrical content isn't appropriate in pop songs, so I decided to rewrite the lyrics to The Middle for that very reason. 


This parody is based off the song by Zedd, Maren Morris, and Grey. 


I hope you enjoy it!


The Griddle

Verse 1

Whisk and beat

Fill it with air, beyond compare

Whip soft peaks

Put sugar in there and I’m unaware

Of just how I made all of this mess, this is impressive

Spilling cream was not my intention


Pre-Chorus

Toast in the toaster

Oh no, I burnt the toast

This breakfast is all over

I gotta let it go


Chorus

You said, Baby, why don't you just put eggs on the griddle?

And only cook mine just a little

Cuz I like runny yolks right in the middle

In the middle


Baby, why don't you just put eggs on the griddle?

And only cook mine just a little

Cuz I like runny yolks right in the middle

In the middle


Verse 2

Ohh, break an egg

Wait for a minute, you’re in the kitchen

Watching me

My spatula’s flipping, now yolks are broken

Oh how did I make all of this mess, this ain’t impressive

Breaking yolks was not my intention


PreChorus

And now you’re closer

Why have you come so close

Oh, you want to take over

I guess I’ll let you cook


Chorus

You say baby, why don't we put pancakes on the griddle?

Let’s work as a team just a little

So why don't we put pancakes on the griddle?

On the griddle


Bridge

Looking at you, I can't hide

Want you to be cooking

Regardless of my objection

And it's not about my pride

Just pouring ingredients

Just take over, you’re cooking


Chorus

You say baby, why don't we put pancakes on the griddle?

Let’s work as a team just a little

So why don't we put pancakes on the griddle?

On the griddle no no

You say baby, why don't we put pancakes on the griddle?

Oh yeah, Let’s work as a team just a little

So why don't we put pancakes on the griddle?

On the griddle Baby-y-y, why don't we put pancakes on the griddle, baby?

Let’s work as a team just a little

So why don't we put pancakes on the griddle?

On the griddle, griddle

On the griddle, griddle 


The piano version we used is in Pop Hits for Kids (Easy Piano) published by Hal Leonard (HL00279378).


I hope you enjoyed this rewrite! I am a huge fan of Weird Al, so if you want more pop parodies, I suggest listening to his music. I love writing my own parodies. If you use these new lyrics, please credit me!


What song should I parody next?

-Jenny
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10.09.2023

🕵️‍♀️ And Then There Was a Piano

October 09, 2023 0 Comments
It was a bleak and blustery autumn afternoon when I received the first of many similar emails.

October 7, 2022

Greetings, I want to give away my late husband's Yamaha Baby Grand Piano GC1 to a passionate instrument lover. If you have any family or church in mind who will cherish it, share this message with them. God bless you.

Regards,
Arianna

I imagined Arianna to be an elderly woman with long, white hair and a sweet smile.  I immediately felt sorry that she had lost her husband. I imagined him to be a retired concert pianist who could play Rach 2 instantly on request. 

'A family or church in mind.' Too bad my apartment was too small and my church already had a baby grand. I definitely would have cherished this piano, but since I didn't have anyone else in mind, I passed on the email without responding. 

On a crisp, fall afternoon 10 days later, I received another email. It was similar, but the widow was named Tammy, not Arianna. 


October 17, 2022

Greetings,
I am giving away my late husband's Yamaha Baby Grand Piano GC1 to a passionate instrument lover as God's lead. If you have any family, Organization or Church in mind who will CHERISH it, Please help me share this message with piano teachers, piano studio, Or any family in need of a piano. God bless you.

Sincerely,
Tammy.

How interesting that Tammy is also a widow giving away the same piano that also belonged to her husband. The word CHERISH was now written with some urgency. There were strange placements of capital letters, but these were not Taylor Swift liner notes; no message could be deciphered. The cadence of her English, the incorrect grammar, and the placement of a period at the end of her name could only mean one thing. 

This was definitely a sca-


ndalous murder mystery. I'm no Nancy Drew, so I decided to leave this mystery to the professionals. Surely someone would notice this strange string of events and realize the key to solving my musical theory. 

And then it became personal... 


November 20, 2022

Hello,

How are you doing? I am looking to give away my late husband's Yamaha baby grand piano to a passionate instrument lover, so please let me know if you will take it or have someone who will care for it.

Regards,
Bianca.

How am I doing, Bianca? No, how are you doing? Once again, her husband has also mysteriously died! And there it is. That ominous, killer baby grand piano. How in the world is it continuously killing people, always virtuoso pianist husbands, and no one is noticing? 

I decided to let Bianca know my suspicions. 

I wrote back:


November 20, 2022

No, thank you. It seems that Yamaha baby grand pianos kill a lot of husbands. Evidently, they are very dangerous. You, Arianna, and Tammy have emailed me that their late husband's Yamaha baby grand piano is also available. I am not interested

I love my husband too much to risk it on this dark piano. 

How does the piano kill its unsuspecting victims? I wondered. 

Muahahahahahaha
Does a piano string burst mid-performance and strike them? (Yes, piano strings can burst and fly across the room.)
Do they get crushed trying to put up the lid with the high stick? 
Is there a poison tuning peg that pricks them like Sleeping Beauty's spindle? 
Or has Bugs Bunny rigged a key with TNT like in an episode of Looney Tunes? 

In vain, I hoped that Bianca would have taken my warning seriously. But unfortunately, it appears that Elizabeth Lozano's husband was a passionate instrument lover and they unsuspectingly adopted this fiendish instrument. 


May 5, 2023

I am giving away my late husband's Yamaha Grand GC1 to a passionate instrument lover. If you know of a fellow teacher, student, family or church that might be interested, please forward this email to them. 
God bless you.

Sincerely,
Elisabeth Lozano

Poor, poor Mr. Lozano. 

What prompted me to write this blog post for you, dear reader is the most recent of these tragic emails. Because it seems as though these women are continuously becoming widows and don't see the larger picture, perhaps I can spare you the pain of unsuspectingly adopting this Puck (note: This is not performed on a Yamaha).


October 5, 2023

Hello,

I hope this mail gets to you soon. I'm looking to give away my late husband's baby grand piano to a loving home, music school or church. Please let me know if you will adopt it or if you have someone in mind who wants it, just in case you don't need it.

Best Wishes,
Rebecca.

A seasoned detective really needs to look into this. Immediately. 

And when they do, I hope my blog post will be the tip off and that I will get a reward for the lead.

My counsel to you, dear reader: if you have a husband, you do not want this piano. If Rebecca or any other future widow contacts you, ignore this email and do not refer her to someone else. If someone asks you on behalf of a widow, say no. It's not worth it. Do not send this widow (or future ones!) money to pay for movers that she prefers. 

Oh, and here is the full text of my email to Bianca. 


November 20, 2022

No, thank you. It seems that Yamaha baby grand pianos kill a lot of husbands. Evidently, they are very dangerous. You, Arianna, and Tammy have emailed me that their late husband's Yamaha baby grand piano is also available. I am not interested






in your scam.


Have a nice day.

In reality, I do love Yamaha pianos, so this is not to create a villain of all models of Yamahas, simply this one in particular. 

If you do adopt it, please do us all a favor and roll it off of Navy Pier. 

-Jenny
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